More on the Little Things…

After various discussions during the week, I thought I might elaborate on a topic in the previous article. There seems to be much marriage discourse about the little things… which add up to very big things. The question is, are the little things promoting positive relations or are they fostering hard feelings? The next thing to consider is are you the giver or the recipient?

The little things in a relationship can make it or break it. Have you ever noticed a couple that held hands or he held the door open for her…small wonderful things. Usually it is done without even thinking about it. They are loving gestures. There are millions of wonderful ways to do this for anyone at anytime; from asking if you can get your mate something on your trip through the kitchen or to taking out the trash- even giving him his 10 minutes of downtime before he engages in the chaos of family time. They show respect, kindness and love. The interesting thing about this gesture is most of the time it goes by unnoticed but it makes a huge long-term impact.

Then, there are the negative little things. These always get noticed and add up quickly. They are a black cloud in a relationship. You have seen it in action many times- usually in a very selfish gesture and me first attitude. The following tend to be some that have been expressed to me recently: the insult in public, not offering to help with the dishes or a child with homework, interested more in the computer or video game rather than a conversation with a loved one.  These mean little things can steal the love out of a marriage. Be wary of them.

Here at home, I hadn’t realized that I was doing a mean little thing until my husband pointed it out one day. He didn’t point it out in front of the children and he wasn’t mean. He just made a statement. He informed me that I had gotten into a very bad habit of talking over him and not really listening to his points of view. This is not really a far-fetched bad habit for me. I am a talker, yap, yap, yap.  But, because he expressed that it was making him not want to engage in conversation, I have worked on being a better listener to him and the kids. The lesson in this is that I would have never known if he didn’t speak up.

I recently read about the greatest thing we can do in our life is love and to show that love the greatest thing we can give is our time. Once time is spent, you cannot get it back. I ponder how we spend our time with our relationships. That fraction of time it takes to do a wonderful little thing can foster love for a lifetime. So what I would like to know is what wonderful little things do you do or receive from your partner that promotes your love for each other?


8 thoughts on “More on the Little Things…

  1. Well since you asked….humor, humor, humor. Mark makes me laugh every single day. He sings little funny made up songs, reads me something interesting, sends me you tube stuff, records something on TV that strikes him silly, or typically has some sort of mishap but makes sure to tell me because he knows it brings me joy to laugh about it. Even on the dullest day I can recall something he made me laugh about. It reminds me not take life or situations to seriously, and I love him for it.

  2. Nick kisses me good bye every morning as he leaves for work and I kiss him hello every evening when he returns. That little peck means so much! On the rare occasion that he is running late and forgets…I really miss it! And yes we always hold hands when we walk together. He walks much faster than I do so sometimes you will see him holding his hand outstretched in back so I can catch up and grab it.

  3. I’ve been thinking about this for a while now (obviously) and I want to acknowledge Mike because he does all of the little things ex: dishes, laundry (sort, wash, AND fold), vacuum, changes diapers, breakfast duty for the kiddos on the weekends, grocery shopping, and then some. I also get a kiss when he leaves in the morning and I don’t recal him missing a day. (I would miss him if he did, too). I need to remember that he does so many of the little things for me everyday and that I shouldn’t EXPECT them. I’ve been trying to acknowledge and thank him for each and every thing he does because I do appreciate those little things…they add up. Most imporant intro-spection…say a simple thank you for those little things.

  4. Hey Chica
    Found your site / blog and have been paroozing it ALL day !
    Looks GREAT .
    I always enjoy your company and conversation so it shouldnt surprise me that I would ENJOY your blogs
    I really enjoyed this one … especially today – as I was thinking about this very thing whilst I was out on my walk about.
    I spend ( most ) of my time doing “little things” for Johnny ( and ALL those whom I love )
    Its just how I roll
    Im not good at the “BIG stuff”
    I agree with you that it is the little things that often go unnoticed and un appreciated – until they are gone.
    On his behalf I will say … Johnny has a few little things that he does for me that really let me know he cares too
    Every morning – without fail – he kisses me goodbye.
    Every evening – without fail – he kisses me goodnight.
    More often than not – when we are driving any kind of distance – he will reach over and take my hand ( I really love that one )
    And most evenings – on his way home – he calls to let me know he is on his way and if there is anything I need for him to pick up
    Little things
    You hit the nail on the head !

    • Thank you so much for your wonderful comment. I LOVE doing this and especially love it when people enjoy what I write. I enjoy your company too. Thanks for sharing~keep doing those wonderful little things that you do!~Stacey

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