While my husband and I met in a bowling alley, our first date didn’t happen for another three months. Though, within this timeframe, he did sign on as a client and I had to talk to him frequently to manage his accounts. He asked me out repeatedly and I always told him, “No.” However, he had a few things going for him:
1. He was very cute.
2. He was very funny.
3. He was very persistent!
He eventually wore me down and I said, “Yes,” but there were terms:
1. We were only going out as friends (he made me laugh).
2. He could pick me up at my place of work, not my home (he was one of my business clients and I didn’t want him to know where I lived).
And then on his suggestion,
3. He brought a friend that I could prospect as a new client (so it was a business dinner and not a date).
I gave him my pager number. Pager number?! Do you even remember those? Anyway, we went to dinner at Saltgrass Steakhouse. Ate, laughed and had drinks. We had lots of fun. So much fun, in fact, that we dropped off the friend and went to a local establishment, Martini’s and More. At the time, it was very popular in our little area. They had great drinks, live music and it wasn’t so much a “bar” as it was an entertainment venue. Many, many over the top moments with friends occurred there (you know who you are)!
Martini’s and More gave in to the name and we had a terrific time. This is the night that goes down in history as having the most famous line of our courtship,
“Are you wearing any underwear?”
I still laugh as I write that. My husband is the most upstanding, conservative, and polite gentleman. This question was and still is the strangest thing he could ever ask of me. I did not answer him then and I will not answer it now. I gave him the most lady like response any woman could give, “What? You’re my client!” Then, I whacked him!
At the end of the date he walked me out and I put a car door between us so there could be no lean-in kiss. And, there you go. That was our first real date. Most guys may have given up with the whole here, kiss-the-door option, but he didn’t. He kept calling and asking me out. Though, after that night, I always answered, “Yes!” It was the beginning of the butterflies in my stomach, the phone calls till 3 in the morning – then getting up and going to work, the start of meeting friends and family. It was the beginning of finding love.
After pondering our budding beginnings this was what was different than previous relationships:
1. I wasn’t looking for a relationship.
2. I followed Grandma’s advice and didn’t give “it” away so he kept coming back.
3. I set up boundaries and expectations early in the relationship: I was the Queen and expected to be treated as such.
I love telling this story because it rekindles all of those crazy, new-love feelings. We were both a little older when we found each other. We had careers and a good sense of self. We had loved before and been hurt before. Our backgrounds and values were similar. We speculate a lot about the other “forces” that brought us together. We have circumstances that could be labeled as luck, magic, fate, destiny, or chance. We choose to see it as a blessing.
I asked if he would write for this article and he shyed away from it (of course!) but I will tell a little on him. The morning after our first date, he called his mom and said, “Mom, I met a girl…”
The rest is history.