Notes on how NOT to be Single.


Article by request. A note to the reader be careful what you request!

This is an awkward article for me to write because a) I am not single and haven’t been for a very long time and b) I am not a professional psychologist, preacher or counselor – so does my opinion really matter anyway? Probably not. But, you are going to get it anyway.

My opinion…. On how NOT to be single. Since I see this from more of a God and cosmos perspective, it is rather hard for me to give you specifics like what places to hang out in or what online dating service to use. However, for the sake of good conversation and reflection I will focus on the following:

  •  Lose the Baggage. Seriously. If you are hung up on who did you wrong and carrying around guilt, blame, anger or hostility—what kind of vibe are you sending out? Find some peace. If you don’t have peace in your heart, how can you have a peaceful relationship with anyone else?
  • No More Acts of DesperationHave you ever gone to a store where the sales people stalk you? You then do everything in your power to avoid them and not make any eye contact. Don’t be that sales person. Be approachable. Smile. Have an inner glow. Be happy in your skin. A point I made to my son that could be presented to adults as well…who do you want to play with, the kid sulking* in the corner or the kids having fun? You can replace sulking with other key word like psycho* or drama queen* or egomaniac*. Your choice. Who do you want to be and who do you want to hang out with.
  • You Cannot fit a Square Peg into a Round Hole. What does this mean? If it ain’t working, don’t force it – move on. Maybe it is a great person, just not the right person for you.
  • Are You Perfect? Pretty much that is it. You have faults and so does everybody else. The question is do your faults mesh well with each other. I had a girlfriend once tell me that two people had to be equally messed up…maybe there is some truth to that.  Oh yeah, don’t change each other, like each other for who you both really are. You need to be able to be yourself with one another.
  • Two Half Peoples do Not Make a Whole Person. You need to be complete, and so does your mate. You must know who you are, what your values are, what you like and don’t like, how to effectively communicate and vice versa. Living in someone’s shadow or being someone else’s sun wears out the relationship. Be each other’s sun. That is balanced.
  • Stop looking so hard and let the Holy Spirit work. Let your true matchmaker do his job. And pay attention to what is presented to you.

Good luck on your journey.

Have more to add to this list? Be sure to add it in the comment section!

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6 thoughts on “Notes on how NOT to be Single.

  1. Every advice is a gem. I believe in destiny with a bit of initiative. And the Holy Spirit guidance, works like a charm. When we let it rule over us, everything will flow beautifully. As a guy, I overcame my shyness by calling my future wife. I was nervous with my heart pounding. I asked a friend to introduce us, the rest is history. Thanks for recent comment.

  2. Remember Tony, Tony, Tony with the squeaky voice? Sitting in a BIKINI, in his HOT TUB and he had the nerve to tell me that if I only had green eyes, red hair, and freckles that I would be perfect. Yeah, well if he only had a voice that wasn’t pre-pubescent…

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